literature

PC - Love in the Face of Danger _ L/M

Deviation Actions

Roxie-Archer's avatar
By
Published:
9.8K Views

Literature Text

                                Love in the Face of Danger



It takes a lot to catch a ninja off-guard. Battling at four to one odds isn't nearly enough to do it. Battling at four to one odds in an abandoned subway station with a crumbling floor and a ceiling threatening to cave at any moment doesn't cut it either. Not even doing all of that with a previously injured arm is enough to slow Leonardo down.

Michelangelo could almost admire the way his eldest brother fluidly wove between his enemies to strike with absolute precision in the exact spot that would fell his enemy with the least amount of exertion while simultaneously avoiding the sharp, broken edges of concrete beneath his feet…almost…if he wasn't so busy keeping himself alive in those exact same conditions. As it was, the brief glimpses he got of Leonardo between felling one enemy and another taking his place was enough to keep him going, pressing onward when everything in him begged him to beat a hasty retreat.

Leonardo was rarely caught off guard in battle. Ninjitsu was the one thing that Leonardo understood with perfect clarity. Ninjitsu, the art of control, had always come easy to Leonardo so the grace and precision he showed in battle was born of a great physical confidence; his skills were so well-honed that his body reacted instantly no matter the situation, with little thought necessary, leaving his mind open to plan strategy mid-battle.

Michelangelo had always thought that even death would have a hard time catching Leonardo off-guard. 'No. I'm sorry', Leonardo would say, 'you'll have to make an appointment.'

Those thoughts kept him entertained and helped him to ignore the fact that his brothers could be killed every time they were forced to raise their weapons. It had to be put out of his mind; not so much so that he became careless or forgot that they needed him in battle but enough so that he could function because the thought that any one of them; Raph, Donnie, or Leo, might fall dead in flows of blood and have to be carried home – dead – and burned to nothing but the void they once filled and empty chairs and empty beds and empty words about how the living would just have to soldier on without them was paralyzing to him. In his nightmares were rivers of blood and a loneliness so crushing he couldn't breathe.

Michelangelo hit a lull, a single moment of rest when no one had replaced his last foe, and took the opportunity to check how the others were doing. Maybe they had won already and could go home.

From across the room, Raph's angry shouting told him that at least he was still in battle and, glancing that way, Mike quickly determined he wasn't needed. Raphael had his opponent backed into a corner and if the idiot played his cards right, he might even walk away. It was fifty-fifty that it could go favorably. Michelangelo remembered that in the early days, the foot had often chosen to die in a losing battle than to leave dishonored. Things weren't like that anymore and Michelangelo was glad. He was tired of killing.

A crash nearby sent up a cloud of dust and debris as part of the ceiling overhead caved in and Michelangelo threw up an arm to cover his face. There was a scream; a voice he didn't recognize and almost immediately afterward another chunk of ceiling came down atop the first, carrying the entire mess down through the floor to whatever lay below. More cracks followed and this time, a shout Michelangelo did recognize.

He watched in horror as part of the floor near to the newly gaping hole gave way beneath Donatello and already he was moving, but not fast enough. Leonardo reached their brother first, just in time to plant a foot on the edge and grab the end of Donnie's extended bo staff, using Donatello's momentum to swing him back up onto solid ground but the added weight was too much for Leonardo's own perch and it too, collapsed underneath him.

In that single instant, Michelangelo saw a thousand emotions flash across his brother's face; the shock that he'd miscalculated, the realization that he had never calculated at all, acceptance that this was merely the consequence of saving his brother's life…acceptance of his own death…

Leonardo never made a sound as he fell into the abyss. Nor did Michelangelo as he dove in after him.

                                *          *          *

It was a long way down and the faint light from above faded into total blackness quickly. Michelangelo screamed as he lost sight of his brother in the darkness.

"Leo!!!"

Leonardo had slid his eyes closed as he fell. They now snapped open in shock and panic at the sound of his brother's voice but he didn't have time to respond as Mikey caught up to him, pulling him into a tight embrace and then they hit water.

The impact was so sudden it forced all air from his lungs which was immediately replaced by water. Leonardo coughed violently as his body rejected the foreign substance and began to panic for the lack of air.

He had just the presence of mind to return his brother's grip as they broke surface and were rushed away with the fast moving current.

Leonardo couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything above the roar of the water and he had no idea where they were or where they were going. He clung to Michelangelo like a lifeline cursing everything that his brother had followed him down and now they were both lost to their siblings. Hopefully the structural collapse had been enough to stop the fight. One foot soldier had already been killed beneath the falling rubble. He was sure they would gather what they could of themselves and retreat. If only his brothers would do the same.  He had to trust that Donatello's logic would win over Raphael's impulsive desperation to find them. Donnie would pull them out, formulate a plan. He only needed to worry about…

"Mikey!?"

"Still here dude." his brother managed between deep gulps of air. "Didn't think you could get away that easy, did ya?"

Leo smiled and shook his head. "You're crazy, you know that? You shouldn't have followed me!"

"Eh. I was just hangin' around so I figured, why not?"

Leo winced as his shell scraped against the rocky wall and tried to determine which direction it was they were going in. He only knew one thing certainly: they would never surface again where they had fallen. They would have to find – or make - a new path up.

"Do you think they'll be able to find us down here?" Mikey shouted above the rushing water.

Leonardo thought not but he didn't want to say that when he knew it would only make his brother worry more. Still, he couldn't lie.

"I think getting to us will be more of a problem." Leo answered. "We'll probably have to make our own way up somehow."

Michelangelo shivered in his embrace and Leonardo gripped him tighter. The water was freezing and their path seemed to go on and on. If they remained exposed to the low temperature for too long their bodies would shut down and they would drown. He couldn't let that happen!

"Help me kick over to the other side!"

Leonardo knew that to their right was a sheer rock wall but perhaps to their left they could find a ledge or handhold to pull themselves out of the water and this way, too, the added exertion would help to increase blood flow.

They reached the opposite side – much sooner than Leonardo had hoped – only to find a similar rocky wall. Leonardo reached out desperately for a grip as they continued downstream but the slick, eroded surface offered no such purchase.

It could have only been his imagination, but it seemed to Leo like the air supply had begun to run low in the last few seconds. That would make it even more imperative to halt their trip downstream before they were carried to a section of tunnel that was no longer high enough to offer them adequate breathing space.

"Leo!" Mikey tugged at his hand and Leonardo looked his brother's way even though he couldn't see. "Something just hit against my shell!"

"You mean something in the water?" Leonardo hadn't sensed any other living being but Michelangelo was further out into the stream. It couldn't be the opposite wall, could it? Were they losing tunnel space that rapidly?

"No." Mikey shouted back. "Like a rock. From the ceiling!"

"Stalactites!" Maybe they could pull themselves out of the water that way.

Before Leonardo had the chance to relay that thought to Michelangelo though, he heard a loud crack and his brother slammed against him with a startled complaint. They went under again, tossed by the torrent, and when he finally broke surface for air, the sloshing water and his own upward motion carried him straight into one of the growing number of stalactites surrounding them. His head hit soundly against it with a resounding crack, throwing him against Michelangelo, whose panicked shouting faded away from him as he slipped below the water's surface once again.

                              *          *          *

When Michelangelo felt his brother's grip on his hand slacken, he panicked. He could guess what had happened but he had no idea how bad Leonardo was hurt and no way to do anything about it.

"Leo. You're gonna be okay." Mikey hugged his eldest brother to his plastron tightly, keeping his head above water as best he could. "Don't worry. I'm gonna get us outta this." Mikey had hoped saying it out loud would make him feel it but he was sorely disappointed.

Then, as if their current situation wasn't bad enough, the ceiling suddenly crowded him out. His head scraped painfully against rock as he was pushed underwater. He tried to push his way against the current, using the ceiling as leverage, to reach air once more but it was no use. The already fast current had quickened, sweeping him along despite his best effort to resist. He surfaced just once more as they passed by a sudden arch in the rock overhead and was able to fill his lungs before going under again.

Michelangelo tried to remain calm, to center himself and slow his breathing the way he'd been taught. No one had ever been worse at meditating than Michelangelo was - even Raph got it better than he ever did (and that was saying something). Master Splinter must have had the patience of a saint to put up with him when they'd first started training. But somehow or other it'd stuck, or just enough of it to matter now because everything clicked into place just when he needed it most. His body slackened and Michelangelo allowed the force of nature to take over, submitting completely to the raging torrent around him.

It was only moments later that, in a spray of water, he found himself falling. He lost his grip on Leonardo and plummeted down into a pool far below, the crashing waterfall deafening him to his own screams.

When Michelangelo surfaced he found Leonardo floating face down nearby. The realization that he could see again came second after gathering his brother into his arms and frantically checking for vital signs. The heartbeat beneath his fingers, pressed against Leonardo's neck hard enough to leave accidental bruises, seemed weak to Michelangelo and he realized that Leo…both of them…were far too cold to be healthy. It was then, as he was looking around for dry land, that Mikey noticed the lights.

Looking straight up, Michelangelo stared in awe at the dimly glowing crystals lining the walls of the cavern around them. Some of the lower ones reflected off the water's surface, glittering with every lap and splash. It was beautiful.

And one cluster of crystals was just low enough and large enough that he thought he might be able to pull them up onto it and out of the water – if only it would hold them.

Getting Leo up onto it was no easy task. When he was safely onto it, and out of the cold water, Mike hesitated. He looked around but there were no other crystals low enough to climb onto. If this one broke under their weight, he wasn't sure they would live much longer. He was starting to go numb from the cold.  He didn't know what to do.

When you don't know what to do, Splinter had once told him, meditate to think clearly but if you can't do that, trust in yourself and follow your own heart. When all hope seems lost, all that is left then is trust and faith that you have within you everything you need to see it through.

Michelangelo looked up at his brother, cold and hurt, planted his palms firmly on the crystal's edge, and closed his eyes, listening carefully for any cracking sounds as he pulled himself up next to Leonardo.

The crystal held and as Mike exhaled, he felt a metric ton of stress flow out with his breath.

Now that there was light to see by, he pulled Leo's head into his lap and got a good look at the lump forming where he'd been hit during their trip downriver without a paddle…or a boat…or a choice.

It had definitely broken the skin but probably hadn't cracked his skull…at least there weren't bits of bone showing everywhere. Mikey wished he actually knew what he was doing.

"I promise you," he whispered to Leo "if we get outta this, I'm gonna have Donnie teach me everything he knows about first aide. You'll think I was the best damn nurse on the planet."

Suddenly, Leonardo's body spasmed and a coughing fit erupted. He lurched to his side, away from Mike and violently coughed the water from his lungs.

Startled and worried, Mike could only stroke his brother's neck and arms in a way he hoped was comforting to the other until the fit subsided and, heaving, Leonardo settled back, his head pillowed once more on his youngest brother's leg, shivering yet slowly warming.

"What happened?"

Mikey had the strong urge to say 'You're having a baaad dream! This is the part where it gets better. The foot ninja are on a cotton candy break and this is our honey moon!'

It may have seemed to everyone else like his mouth had no off switch, but Michelangelo had a filter like you wouldn't believe. It came with years of practice.

"You hit your head, dude. I bet that hurts a lot, huh?" Mikey answered with sympathy, stroking gently around the bruised area.

"Kind of. Yeah." Leo admitted, worrying Michelangelo a little that he didn't brush it off entirely as he often did with minor injuries.

"I'm sure I'm fine though." Leo rushed to add. "There's no need to make that face! Just give me a minute to center myself and I'll find us a way out of here."

Michelangelo hadn't known he'd been making a "face" but Leonardo's calm reassurances did a lot to settle his nerves and he grinned down at the other turtle. There was a very fine line between the things Michelangelo knew he could get away with for being "eccentric" and "fun-loving" and things that would make his brothers stop to think. For instance: staring – not okay, glomping – okay; cuddling – not okay, pretending to fall asleep on the couch and slump over against Leo – okay (even if Leo knew he was pretending). Michelangelo sometimes felt like he lived in a backward world. And it was all his own fault, he knew that; (and maybe Raph's a little) he'd even been told as much. The human world had opened so many doors for him – he could never give it up – but the human world had so many boundaries, boundaries they had never known as children. Part of it could be blamed on growing up, of course, people needed their own space, but a lot of it had been them emulating human behaviors. He hadn't known back then that there would be some things from the human world that he loved and some things he'd one day wish he could throw away.

"If you think it's fine then you're obviously terminal." Mikey teased. And since I don't have the tools to perform emergency brain surgery I'll just have to kiss it better instead."

Leaning down, Mikey gently pressed his lips to the wound.

"There!" he declared with a minor flourish. "All better."

Leonardo chuckled. "You've done that once before."

"Yeah?" Mikey replied nonchalantly. Inside, he was cursing himself though. It might have been hard to catch Leonardo off guard but what did it take to catch Michelangelo off guard? Apparently just the first opportunity to throw it away.

Leo hummed in the affirmative, oblivious to Michelangelo's self-remonstration. "We were twelve and you blushed red as a tomato."

Mikey laughed as the memory came back to him. "I remember that now. Donnie brought you an ice pack and told me that kissing was an unproductive healing method." That part was kind of funny, looking back on it, but Raph had teased him about it for days. It was then that he'd started hiding things from his brothers – especially Leo. He'd never really hidden himself. He'd refused to do that, even then, but he'd hidden his feelings. He just couldn't bear the thought of Leo thinking less of him for it.

"He was wrong." Leo replied gently and Michelangelo blinked down at him uncomprehendingly. "You made it feel better."

Mikey was sure that the blush he'd had back then had nothing on the one currently heating his face.

Why did Leo have to say things like that? He had no idea how much they hurt, how much they made him want to confess … how weak he really was.

"Mikey?" Leo looked up at him worriedly, reaching up with the intention of touching his brother's face to get his attention but Michelangelo spoke first.

"I had a crush on you back then."

Leo almost didn't hear him with the waterfall roaring in the background but when it finally sank in, he couldn't help but laugh. Michelangelo scowled down at him, like he might shove him away any moment so Leonardo hastened to explain.

"I had a crush on Raph back then."

It was still funny to Leo but Mikey was floored. Leo had been open to a relationship the entire time that he was suffering in silence?! What SHIT was this??? Suddenly, he wanted a table in front of him – right now – so he could flip the damn thing! Then a realization hit him. Leo thought they were talking about meaningless shit, childhood crushes that didn't matter anymore…

"I love you now."

Mikey had felt like he'd had to say it but when Leo stopped laughing, looking at him instead with his sharp, penetrating gaze, the one that sought out truth and never failed to find it, his heart fluttered and he wasn't so sure anymore. He could never take it back now, no matter what Leo said.

"You can't."

But Michelangelo was never expecting that. Leonardo sounded so resigned about it, like he was sorry things had to be that way.

"Is it because we're brothers? Because we're both guys?" The unasked questions that had always terrified Michelangelo rolled out of his mouth now, demanding answers.

Leonardo pushed himself up, turning away from his brother.

"Because we're ninjas, Mikey. Relationships like that don't belong on the battlefield." Looking out, Leonardo got his first look at the crystals surrounding them; and they were beautiful but this cavern was also a hole in the ground that they might never climb out of. Did it matter if a tomb was beautiful if no one ever left it alive?

He turned back to Michelangelo, legs folded beneath him as he gestured outward for his brother's attention. "Look at where you are. You might die here. Is that because you couldn't let me go?"

Tears stung Michelangelo's eyes but still, fury rose in him. "Look at you! You're here because you couldn't let Don go!"

Leonardo shook his head. "It isn't the same thing. I took a calculated risk…"

"Think about every battle we've ever been in – ever. I've felt this way through every single one of them and you rejecting me now isn't going to change a damn thing because it's not like I have any less hope now than I ever had before." Michelangelo drew in a breath, his tirade subsiding. "I never meant to tell you…because I thought…I didn't want to lose that you loved me at all."

Leonardo pulled his brother into his arms, holding him tightly. "That could never happen, Mikey. That could never…never…happen."

"I don't want you to pity me either." Mikey tried to shove him away but Leonardo held tighter.

"You have to understand. I'm scared of the consequences. My position as leader must dictate that I think of everyone equally in battle. I can't afford to be distracted."

Mike frowned, thinking about what his brother was saying. "So…wait…are you saying that you're actually not against this and you could actually…want me…if given the chance…but you're turning me down for logical reasons?"

Leo sighed heavily as he pulled back, hands still resting on Mikey's forearms. "Yes. I'm so sorry that you've carried this alone for so long only to find my feelings another burden to bear. I've only made things worse for you. I never knew you had feelings for me. If I had, I would have tried much harder to…"

"Stop." Michelangelo cut him off mid-sentence, holding a hand up between them, his mind working in overdrive as everything Leonardo was saying started making sense. "Stop. Back up. You've actually thought about this? For how long? What exactly are you feeling here?"

"Mikey," Leonardo began patiently "I just…"

"No!" The shout echoed off the walls, silencing Leonardo. "I want answers, dude!"

Leo's voice was small in reply. "But I…"

"Answers! I deserve 'em!"

Leonardo heaved a sigh. Whenever his brother got that look in his eyes there was no changing the subject, no hiding from him. "Fine. Yes, I have. About three years now. And I don't know because I've tried very, very hard to ignore it."

"But…I love you. I really, honestly love you, Leo."

"I realize that, Mikey but how can I be your leader and your brother and your lover?"

"I'm not asking you to be three different people." Mike replied, cupping a hand over the other's cheek. "Just Leo."

Leonardo closed his eyes, covering Michelangelo's hand with his own. "What if it…doesn't work?"

"Hmm… Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called a present." Michelangelo answered sagely.

Leonardo opened his eyes, staring back at him with wonder. "Michelangelo, that was very insightful."

Mikey nodded importantly. "Yup, a very famous turtle once said that in a movie."

After a pause, Leonardo laughed. He laughed so hard he doubled over and the sound echoed off the cavern walls.

Michelangelo chuckled happily and when Leo had finally settled, he captured his brother's mouth in a kiss. At first, Leonardo was too startled to return the gesture but he soon gathered the other turtle into his arms, pulling him against his plastron and deepened the kiss.

Michelangelo had never felt more at peace in his life, or more loved. When they parted, Mikey laid his head on Leo's shoulder and breathed in his scent. He couldn't stop grinning.

"You've always been able to simplify the things I find complicated." Leo's voice rumbled in his chest and from his position, Mikey felt every vibration like a purr of contentment. "I wish I had…let you in earlier."

Mike pulled away, reluctantly but with determination. "That doesn't matter now. There'll be plenty of time later for this stuff. Right now, we've gotta find a way outta this place."

Leonardo's gaze steeled instantly. "You're right. As I was glancing around earlier, I noticed that that growth of crystals is close enough to reach from here." He pointed to a cluster a few feet up and a few yards over. "I'll head up to look for any tunnels that may lead outward. You try below."

Michelangelo nodded and watched as his brother took off. "Hey." He called out when Leo had reached the next cluster of crystals. "I'm making Japanese for dinner when we get home."

Leonardo blushed, though he didn't really understand why and watched as Michelangelo took a deep breath and dove into the water below.

Scouting for passages gave Leonardo time to think. He remembered when he'd first told Splinter, his sensei and father (and therefore doubly difficult to confess to and yet so much easier to tell than the subject of his confession) of his conflicting feelings for Michelangelo; how his youngest brother both frustrated and calmed him by his presence alone. Even now, Michelangelo only knew a fraction of what he'd confessed to Splinter.

When he'd first made his confession, Leonardo remembered, he'd gone to Splinter hoping to be told right from wrong; to be told whether to put his feelings for his brother out of his mind or to embrace them but, of course, Splinter was much too wise to allow him such a monochromatic view of life. Splinter often demanded that he explore the gray areas because he knew his son would sometimes have preferred a world where he could label things clearly as "right" or "wrong".

"I want only your happiness, my son." Splinter had told him ultimately. "Your happiness…and your focus! If you feel that both are within your grasp then you must tell Michelangelo how you feel for him but if you feel they are not then you must put your brothers first. This is your duty as their leader."

It was Leonardo's own lack of confidence in his ability to manage both his own happiness and the happiness and well-being of his brothers that had compelled him to hold his tongue against his feelings. When they told Splinter of their relationship, he would demand to know that his confidence was no longer lacking. Leonardo was surprised to find determination where once he had felt hesitation.

He had never entertained the possibility that Michelangelo might return his feelings and so always believed them to be a burden he must bear alone so as not to trouble his brother with undesired and awkward negative emotions toward him.

Now that he knew Michelangelo's feelings and had allowed himself to consider the possibility of a relationship he had previously denied thought of, Leonardo found a host of once-repressed thoughts flooding his mind. He longed to sleep warm beside his brother like they had as children, when Michelangelo would wrap his arms around him before they had desired their own space. He wanted to feel the other's embrace, the patter of his heart, the press of his kiss; to taste the flavor of his mouth and see the smile of happiness put on Mikey's face…because of him.

He wanted Mikey to know that he didn't have to feel alone, the way he had felt.

Leonardo thought back, trying to remember the first time he had realized that Michelangelo was special to him, that his feelings for his youngest brother were different than the feelings he felt for his other two brothers. Leonardo wasn't certain how long he had mistaken these feelings for over-protectiveness or over-attentiveness but he found that he could pinpoint a likely time when the truth had finally occurred to him.

Michelangelo was standing at the stove, stirring winter stew in a pot, wearing that ridiculous frilled pink apron of his when the rest of them had returned home after a trip to a bakery topside. Leonardo had entered the kitchen first and, taken in by the domestic scene, had felt a strong urge to wrap his arms around Mikey like the men in movies did when they'd come upon their girlfriends cooking, unaware of their presence, resting their chin cozily in the crook of her neck.

Of course, he put the thought from his mind immediately after having it. It was highly inappropriate to treat his unsuspecting brother that way and such antics were certainly better left to Michelangelo himself, anyway.

Instead, he merely took the opportunity to enjoy immersing himself in the moment, its sight and smells, associating them with home. Then Raphael had entered the room beside him and immediately called out "Honey, I'm home!"

Leonardo had felt an instant flash of irritation, almost to the point of anger and had even turned to snap at Raph, when Michelangelo had grinned over his shoulder at their brother and waggled his tail provocatively. "Welcome home, darling! I made your favorite for dinner tonight! How was work?"

Raphael chuckled, prolonging the game. "Oh you know, same ol', same ol'. How was the terror?" Raph asked, referring to Klunk, then a small and curious kitten.

"That's our baby you're talking about!" Michelangelo scolded in pretend reprimand.

Unable to take anymore, Leonardo had dumped his grocery bags on the table and stormed back out of the room. "You two are disgusting."


His irrational hostility toward Raphael on that day had later been explained to him when he'd made his confession to Splinter. He laughed now to think how jealous he had been.

Looking up to the next crystal, Leonardo realized that he had gone as high as he could go. The crystals were thinning out. Perhaps he was near the top. He was too high up to safely jump, even given there was water below, so he began making his way back down, hoping Michelangelo had had better luck.

By the time Leonardo had returned to his starting point, Michelangelo was there waiting for him.

"What's the news from on high?" Mike asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Leonardo shook his head.

"I was afraid of that." Mikey replied.

"And you?" Leo returned.

"Yeah. I found one. But you're not gonna like it."

Michelangelo was right. Leonardo didn't like it. The tunnel that Mike had discovered, the only exit from their current location was completely still, meaning that instead of flowing through the tunnel, the water filling it was merely doing that because wherever it led to was also underwater. There was no way to know how long it was or where it would take them. After scouting it, Leonardo determined that to travel the length of it would mean, at the very least, that they wouldn't have enough air to turn around and come back. Once they tried, they would either make it…or die trying.

"What do you think?" Mikey asked nervously when his eldest brother returned after his scouting mission.

Leonardo was afraid. He looked into his brother's eyes and he was afraid that they might never see home again. Leonardo believed in reincarnation but the thought of finding Michelangelo again in another life was no comfort to him. Only now had he realized how precious this life with Michelangelo was to him.

He pulled his brother into his arms and kissed him, only the second kiss of his life and Leonardo prayed to any spirit willing to listen that it be only the second of many.

"We're gonna die, aren't we?" Michelangelo asked when Leonardo pulled back, a solemnness in his voice that crushed something in Leonardo.

"We're going to wait." Leonardo answered, with all the stern resolve he could muster. "We'll wait a day to give Donnie and Raph time to catch up if they can."

Mikey nodded, trying to draw hope from the fact that their brothers were surely looking for them.

"What I wouldn't give for a deep dish supreme pizza with a cheese and ham stuffed crust." He'd been trying to laugh about it but the image just made him more hungry and his stomach growled in protest.

Leo chuckled as his brother groaned, pulling Mikey down to lay with him upon the crystal.

"Cheesy garlic bread sticks." Mikey moaned. "And dunkin' sticks with hot fudge sauce."

"What happened to Japanese food for dinner?" Leo joked.

"I said I was making Japanese." Mikey clarified. "I didn't say I was eating it."

"I see." Leonardo chuckled.

"Hey Leo…"

Leonardo turned at Mikey's quiet voice, regarding him silently.

"Before we go into the tunnel, right before, could you…do something for me?"

"Sure, Mike. Anything."

Michelangelo hesitated and Leonardo waited patiently for him.

"Tell me you love me. It doesn't matter if it's a lie. If you can say it, I'll be okay."

Leonardo was silent for a moment, letting Michelangelo's words sink in, settle properly to the bottom of his heart. He thought of all the things he had said to his brother that night and realized with a grave understanding that much had been left unsaid. Though he had had a chance to sort his own feelings out, Michelangelo was not privy to the goings-on in his head. What had Mikey been thinking while they kissed? That his brother was giving him a test-run?

"Michelangelo…"

The younger recoiled, just a fraction, at the use of his full name and Leonardo let him, sitting up to stare out at their surroundings.

"I've always tried to be a good big brother, though I sometimes felt I fell short at it.  I try to be a good leader, a good role model, a good friend, a good son. In every one of these there are times I look back on with disappointment, knowing that I should have done better – could have done better.

I know that sometimes I get caught up in myself; thoughts and worries for my own duties and frustrations. I know that…in some ways, I keep you at a distance."

Leo turned back to the other turtle. Mike was regarding him wide-eyed and apprehensive and Leonardo took his hands in his own, taking a moment to observe the subtle difference in their skin tones before his eyes rose to his brother's and held there steady.

"I'm going to try to never do that again. This is one thing I no longer need time to sort out. I love you, Mikey; as a brother … and as a mate."

Michelangelo cried and Leonardo wiped the tears that dribbled past the fabric of his bandanna…and kissed his mate with all the tenderness he deserved.

       They lay on the crystal that night and slept in each other's arms and for a few precious hours, they were at peace.

                                 *          *          *

       The next day was spent under an almost tangible haze of stress. Michelangelo found himself constantly distracted by imagined sounds beyond the waterfall and Leonardo spent the better part of four hours in an embarrassingly vain attempt to contact their master across the astral plain.

There were no fish in the waters below them so as the time wore on, they began looking for ways to distract themselves from their growing hunger. They played word games, shared stories and memories. Leo told Mikey about the time he had watched him cooking and talked about his jealously for the relationships Mikey had with their brothers. He told Mike that he had confessed to Splinter.

With each confession, a weight seemed to be lifted from Michelangelo. He had stressed over Leo's reaction to he and Raph's teasing and over his own future confession to their father.

That night, as Michelangelo slept pillowed in the crook of his arm, Leonardo considered every possible outcome of their upcoming venture. His first instinct was to order his brother to wait here; to let him try the tunnel himself first. But that would surely spark an argument and Leonardo couldn't be certain that if he didn't return, Michelangelo wouldn't come after him anyway. And if he didn't return, Leonardo also couldn't be certain that Don and Raph would ever find Mike even if he did wait.

If they made it through the tunnel, there was no telling what was on the other side. They could find themselves in an even worse predicament than they were already in or in a dead end. If that were the case, they would be forced to come back. They could wait here to be found but if they waited any longer, a time would come when they no longer had the strength necessary to make a continuing journey should they discover a traversable path beyond the tunnel. The only way to increase their chances was to move.

This was not the first time that Leonardo had been confronted with a risk-all situation. Normally there wasn't this much time to think about them…or second guess them. The constant roar of crashing water filling the cavern became a violent, oppressive thing and Leonardo could feel his heart rate increase. Michelangelo's soft snores next to him snapped him out of that place with a jolt and he pulled the other close, turning into the unconscious embrace offered him. The life in his arms was no more in his hands now than it had been as he led them into battle against the Foot clan but it felt heavier just the same.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why do you love me?"

                             *          *          *

"So, on the other side of that tunnel is our living room, right?" Mikey asked. They were doing their stretches and Leo chuckled.

"Give or take a few miles."

In his head, Leo ran the numbers: the average minutes a turtle could hold its breath, the average minutes a human could, and his own record in between. And Mikey's record – a full two minutes less than his own.

"You'll go behind me." he told Mikey. "If you're running out of air, grab my foot so I can stop to help you." Mike nodded, determination in his eyes and Leo nodded back, satisfied.

Leonardo had broken off a piece of their crystal to take with them for light and tucked it between the strap that held his sword sheaths and his plastron.

They did breathing exercises and lowered themselves into the water, taking a moment to acclimate themselves to its coldness.

"Mikey." Leo reached out, taking his brother's hand and squeezing it lightly. "I love you." He decided against kissing because he was afraid the activity might undo the breathing exercises they'd done.

Michelangelo blushed. "I think I'm gonna blush every time you say it now."

Leo's smile widened. "I think it's endearing."

"I'm sleeping in your room tonight." Mikey informed him, blue eyes narrowed with his own wide grin.

"If that's the case we'd better get going." Leonardo replied. "I think I hear my bed calling."

Mikey laughed and splashed him.

Leo splashed back and took his breath, diving deep and swimming straight for the tunnel. As soon as he felt Michelangelo behind him, Leonardo turned his thoughts to the task at hand. He centered himself, pushing everything from his mind as he concentrated on the repetitive motion of swimming. The light faded behind until Leonardo was navigating solely by the dim phosphorescent light he carried with him and the jagged outline of the rocky wall around him illuminated by it. He strained his eyes to see ahead and did not worry when all he could see was more tunnel. It was early. They had time.

They passed the halfway mark of their timeframe where Leonardo had turned back when he'd scouted the tunnel.

He told himself they were making good time. They had used less time now than he had then.
Minutes passed. Leonardo counted the seconds in his head. His body told him before his mind did when he was running out of time.

Ahead of him, the tunnel opened out but his vision blurred and it could have been farther than it looked…or a trick of his mind, he knew, but the only thing he could do was keep going.

As he passed into open water and struck for the surface, Leonardo's vision flickered black and the air he'd held too long escaped him in a flurry of bubbles. He pushed onward, straining every muscle in a desperate and final attempt to find air, every instinct in him warring with the last of his will to fill his lungs.

Seconds later he broke surface, gasping, gulping in air and heaving with the effort. Frantically, he looked around him but Michelangelo was nowhere to be seen and with no further delay he pulled in air and dove again.

Leonardo made his way back to the tunnel, all composure and inner-peace shattered with every meter he had to backtrack. When had Michelangelo fallen behind? He hadn't reached out to him as he'd promised. He hadn't reached out! Leonardo's mind screamed at him. He hadn't reached out. He'd let his brother go. He hadn't wanted to slow him down. He hadn't wanted to risk his chances.

He found Michelangelo floating not far into the tunnel, maybe two or three minutes in. The sight of him there, just before Leonardo reached him, the tails of his bandanna disturbed by Leo's own movement through the water, waving behind him, would forever be seared in Leonardo's memory.

He wrapped an arm around his brother's waist and pulled him out of the tunnel and to the surface. A quick sweep of the area revealed a raised, jagged shore of sorts at one end of the dark cavern they'd found themselves in and Leonardo swam for it with all the strength he had.

He wasted no time starting CPR after pulling them both onto the cold rock that served as their shore. Their shells made it so much harder to press against the lungs. Leonardo had never hated their shells the way he despised them now. He would never have made it to the surface if Mikey had done as he'd asked. He would be dead if Mikey hadn't let him go. His vision blurred for a moment and he couldn't see his brother but he found his mouth anyway and at the end of the breath he gave, a strangled sob escaped him and he cried out in frustration and despair, bowing over the other even as he shoved his palm down over the plating covering his brother's chest, not knowing if he was even doing any good at all.

But suddenly Michelangelo's body convulsed and he coughed, gasped and coughed again, curling to his side and spewing water with every rasping hack. Leonardo reeled back at the sudden movement but returned just as quickly, rubbing his brother's arm, bringing some warmth back to the limb in comfort.

Soon, Michelangelo was on his hands and knees, his lungs working, his head bowed as he regained awareness and Leonardo sat back and realized there were tears streaming down his face and he had neither the presence of mind nor the energy to wipe them away as he watched Michelangelo return to life and his own world start again.

       It took Mikey a few minutes to get his bearings. It was so dark. He turned toward the tiny shard of light in his peripheral and found Leonardo, the fragment of crystal forgotten against his plastron, and his heart wrenched at the sight. Leonardo was staring at him, his face a mask of dulled tragedy, his eyes unseeing and even wet, he could see the tears streaming unheeded down his cheeks. Michelangelo crawled to him on hands and knees and pulled his brother to him, holding him tight. Leonardo buried himself in the crook of his neck and shook. Michelangelo held on. It was all he could do.

They didn't talk about it. They didn't have to. Michelangelo knew what had happened. He didn't want to think about his own mortality. Yet the cavern they had found themselves in had turned out to be a dead end. Despite their accomplishment, they now had to wait. They were waiting for Don and Raph to find them…or death, whichever came first and although death by starvation was slow to come, of the three, it was the only possibility that came with an absolute guarantee.

Leonardo meditated and Mike lay in his lap, Leo's hand draped lightly over him and like this they passed another day and a half, trying to move little to save energy.

Leonardo was resting against the cavern wall, asleep, when Mike first heard it. In his imagination, immediately, it was the sound of Donnie's tunneler coming to save them. He smiled to himself. It was the beginning of his favorite daydream. Donatello and Raphael finally arrived like superheroes and brought them home. Then Mikey would make Leo the dinner he'd promised and when Leo came into the room, he would wrap his arms around him just like in the movies and sometimes, in little bouts of energy, his mind would run away with him and Leo would press him back against the counter and they would make out until the rice burned and they had to eat pizza instead. Mikey's grin widened.

"Mikey?" Leo's tone was thoughtful and Mikey looked up, grin still in place.

"Hmm?"

"Do you feel that?"

The grin faded as Michelangelo concentrated. Not only was he able to pick up on the sound he now realized he actually had heard, but when he stilled his breathing he could feel something.

They sat together, listening, straining their ears to pinpoint the source of the sudden disruption of silence. Leonardo pressed the side of his head against the rock wall and Michelangelo held his breath as the quiet, distant rumble steadily became a thunderous roar.

Suddenly, Leo jumped back, eyes wide. "Dive! Dive!" he yelled and they both ran for the water.

They'd surfaced halfway across the cavern just as the tunneler broke though the wall, flooding the cavern in light so bright, Leo and Mike had to close their eyes against it. And then the most wonderful sound Michelangelo had ever heard filled the area as Donatello cried out joyously "Leo! Mikey! Raph, we found them!"

They were swimming back to shore and Raph was kneeling at the water's edge waiting for them and Don was standing close by, smiling in a way that said he was trying not to cry. Mike reached them first and Raph gave him a noogie and grinned and called him a glory hog. He joked that they'd taken long enough but they might as well have been wearing flowing capes the both of them because, right now, they were Mikey's favorite heroes.

After warm embraces had gone around, they all filed into the tunneler and Raph broke out pizza – just for Mike and Leo, in case they hadn't eaten. Don had brought water too, but Michelangelo was sick of water. He wanted to move to the Arizona desert and drink nothing but soda and Hi-C for the rest of his life.

       At the end of an adventure – not that Mike would ever call it that – the story often ends with "things went back to normal and they lived happily ever after" but for a ninja turtle, life is far too complicated for such a simple dismissal.

Michelangelo's normal consisted of increased hours in training, since he hadn't moved about much after their harrowing swim and his happily ever after included sporadic bouts of fighting for his life against the Foot, the Purple Dragons, and sometimes random drug-addicted muggers but there was also his father's welcoming embrace when they'd come home and Leo's warm bed to climb into at night and a whispered "honey, I'm home" in his ear at the kitchen counter that made him squeal with happiness. Michelangelo would face any danger for those moments and in the end, he figured he was a pretty lucky turtle.
Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the intellectual property of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird

Author's Note: This is my first TMNT fic. I'm kind of proud of myself since it only took about two weeks to write.

Rating: PGish

Summary: A battle with the Foot sends Leonardo and Michelangelo on a dangerous journey that may possibly lead them to happiness...or death.

*Update! This fic won the contest I entered it in (yaaaaay!) and as a contest prize, the amazing artist sneefee did a wonderful pic of Leo and Mike for me in a scene from the fic! Please check out her awesome work ^-^ [link]
© 2012 - 2024 Roxie-Archer
Comments33
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
4evrAllfand0ms's avatar
My heart was racing the whole time! 😍😍😍😍😍😍💓💘